Thursday, August 28, 2014


I am LOVING 21 Day Fix. The nutrition guide makes it super simple. The workouts are 30 minutes and each exercise is ONE minute! I can do anything for one minute! I love it!
I can't tell if I have lost any weight but I have been super moody. I have gathered that this is because I used to use good and binging as my coping mechanism. Now I am building healthy habits! Endorphins help me cope. 
Feeling my feelings is a strange and difficult adjustment. I know it sounds odd. I am so used to stuffing and hiding from my emotions that it is hard to just feel mad or upset or hurt and not do anything about it-- because sometimes you can't! And that's okay!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014


Package opening!

I got the #IceCreamStockUp #voxbox from #Influenster LINK HERE!
I am super stoked to test it out!
Magnum Taste Test

And additionally, until Saturday, there is a BUY THREE GET ONE FREE! Promotion goin on at Target!! 

Sunday, August 24, 2014

21 Day Fix Take 2

Turns out the group 21 Day Fix starts tomorrow! So thankfully I get a a restart because I was bored with the lack of variety since I didn't prepare last week! I just made salads essentially. I am really excited for tomorrow to start over!
It includes 21 Days of Happiness too, so I think I will do that on here. I am so stinking excited!!!
Here we go!

P&G Everyday Challenge winner = #InfluensterChamp

I won the P&G Everyday Challenge and received a VoxBox for winning! I am officially an #InfluensterChamp.
Check out the video link to see what I got!
Influenster Champ Voxbox!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

End of Day 3

I just am finishing day 3, I am noticing that I cannot, CANNOT eat the full servings I calculated I should eat.
However, I have more energy, more self-control.
I haven't started the workouts yet. I did yoga on Monday and rearranged my room (like hauled furniture out and down the stairs) yesterday and today.
I decided that I am not going to guilt myself anymore. I am going to do things I enjoy and when my room is clean, working out WILL be a joy - I do love working out, but not if I have other things on my mind like reorganizing, cleaning, getting rid of, stuff and clutter in my room and essentially simplifying my life. I am sticking to the food plan and I like it. The portions are reasonable, which I found surprising! But I am pleased.
:) I will update again soon!

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Starting 21 Day Fix

I am starting 21 Day Fix from Beachbody. I got the package and looked at the containers. I was kind of surprised - the containers seemed so small! When I prepared my lunch for the week, I was surprised how much fits in one container.
I decided to keep an update on what I am eating for the time and will update every few days. I will also update with my pictures!
These are before pictures (this is taking a lot of effort for me).

Friday, August 15, 2014

My life in 250 words or less.

I am now 26. I have 2 great brothers Ryan and Joey, 2 awesome parents and 3 dog-siblings, Flippy, Kaya and Kimba. We live in the suburbs of Tampa, FL. I am a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer, which was probably the defining year of my life. I lived in Africa by myself with no running water, no electricity and only one American in a 10k radius from my house. I learned to be myself, to be happy and caring and kind. I learned I dislike teaching (at least the lesson planning and grading parts). I learned to grow up and how to become independent. I am in a serious relationship. We have been together for essentially 7 years though there was some off-time to us, he has been my man since I was 19, my first love, my first boyfriend, my first for almost everything. I am so lucky to have Doug – our relationship is stronger than ever and I am truly happy with this man. I am learning to love myself. I am in the midst of changing my lifestyle – and it is harder than I ever thought. I work full-time doing eligbility for public assistance and it is challenging but rewarding. I value honesty, gratitude and loyalty – because I embody those traits as much as I can. My goal in life is to become a social worker – a trauma counselor to be exact.

Please tell me something about you!

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Body Love

I am an avid reader of themilitantbaker who is a Body Love/Fat Acceptance advocate. I struggle daily with the way I look - specifically my weight. I am not thin. Hah. It is still hard for me to admit that I am fat. I want so badly to delete that sentence. I want to delete this whole post.
I am not happy with my weight. I am even more unhappy since I started this combating hypothyroidism journey. The first 2 medications eliminated my appetite but I experienced edema (swelling) of my feet - I couldn't wear my own shoes and I was moody and exhausted. Third medication is effecting my moods greatly and not effecting my appetite at all. Not as much edema but some on some days and not at all on others.
I haven't ran or worked out or done any exercise in probably 2 weeks (excluding one week of sickness).

I am so tired. I am tired of fighting how I feel. I want to feel beautiful. I want to not care anymore. I want to worry about my health and not how my ass looks in a skirt. I want to be more concerned that over the past week, I now get tired going up the damn stairs.

Something is wrong and I don't know how to fix it.

There is so much shame and anger and frustration welling up inside me and I don't know what to do about it.

Please send some thoughts my way. Please send some wishes for good health.

I think part of the problem is that I know I have disordered eating (which I feel like I am misleading if I say I have an eating disorder - even though it is the same thing) on top of genetic bad luck. I feel like I am supposed to be small and compact and if I start taking care of myself then I will get there. And maybe that will happen. At the same time, why do I have to wait to start loving my body until then - or only love that I can potentially be small and compact? I want to love myself in this moment. I want to love myself right now! I can't grow if I hate my body - I can't change.

I recognize that there are a lot of factors relating to my weight - many of which stem from my past, including my rape. I don't like that some people in my life are unable to acknowledge that truth - to recognize that I am not and have not been and was not "okay" and that part of the problem stemmed from the lack of acceptance I had.

But you know what? I am not going to go downstairs and eat ice cream. I am going to go get a few carrots and a slice of pizza. And that is fucking okay.

Here's some interesting body-related articles:
Thin Privilege
Stop Hating Your Body on tumblr
Mindy Kaling on HuffPost

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Build a library for a classroom in need!

One of my dearest friends is a teacher. Mary is in the process of building her classroom library and has a fundraising site going. Please consider donating a few dollars to a great cause.
Creating a classroom library

Thanks for supporting a love of reading and books.