Monday, September 29, 2014

Day One

I decided I wanted to keep myself accountable.
I have been craving, craving, craving ALL DAY LONG. Anything with salt or any smartie type candy (chalky, if that makes sense). I really wanted pretzels or popcorn smothered in butter.
I did not succumb to my baser instincts but instead filled up on greek yogurt, fruit, veggies, Shakeology.
I got the greenberry Shakeology and I'm not loving it. :( I thought it would be fruity and yum without being strawberry but it was too much. I am planning on getting chocolate for next time. In the meantime, I am going to test different recipes. I did buy that blender so mixing with almond milk or fruit will help out. I also may try it with more water (I used half a cup which suddenly seems absurd).
I distracted myself from the cravings by reading which worked surprisingly well. I am glad to have discovered that solution. I will definitely be adding reading daily to my repertoire - as in focused, dedicated reading time. I am considering adding writing time as well.
If you are interested in #21dayFix or #Shakeology - let me know!
I am going to go work out now. Total Body Cardio Fix is today! I am excited and ready to jump back in the game!

Sunday, September 28, 2014

An ending and another new beginning

Last week was rough. I got in a big fight with Doug over something stupid (has since been resolved), flustered my way through work and ended the week frustrated, tired and annoyed. Not the way to start the weekend.
I binged. A lot. I decided to cut the bad and take a break. So I did. I didn't worry about eating on the Fix plan or stressing about working out. I just read a lot and took a break.
So I finally received my Shakeology and I am excited to start using it! I have it all set up for the week. I doled out the servings into smaller containers (I bought the big bag of Shakeo) and I bought a blender so I can just grab my small container, throw some ice in it and continue with my day. I will keep a blendyball shaker as well just in case I am not in the mood for frozen.
(I got this blender!)

I am really excited to restart my #21DayFix.
Here goes nothing!

(PS Have you ever had one of those weeks where you have to step back and reevaluate completely? Even something you are really excited about?!)

Friday, September 19, 2014

And so it begins (again)

I actually decided to become a BeachBody coach. Primarily for the discount, but I love helping people and this may be a way to do it.
I know that I have a lot of weight to lose, but I am going to focus on getting healthy and figuring out what works best for me.
I am excited to start a second round of the #21DayFix ! It is starting on Monday and I am really excited about it. I am anxious too. I ordered Shakeology so that will be a big change from last time! I haven't tried Shakeology yet so I will let you know how I like it!

I have been tweaking my hypothyroid medication too. My dosage actually got doubled by my doc when I went to take the blood test. Little by little, I am getting healthier and back to where I want to be.
There is so much internal shame, fear, anxiety, sheer TERROR I feel at sharing the following photos. I love who I am. I am working on loving how I look. This is me, right now. I am only getting better. These are the before shots. I am giving up the shame, fear, anxiety and terror. Here's to a new beginning.
Amy Poehler gets it. Amy Inspiration on Upworthy

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

After the #21dayfix

I definitely did not eat exactly as I should or work out according to plan. I am surprisingly not disappointed - just elated. I didn't binge for 21 days. I am continuing the fix for lunch and eating well the rest of the meals.
I am loving the clean feeling I have when I have fresh foods. I love the energy and happiness.
I had a major bout of mood swings which derailed me a bit, so I am going to try a new round - I am really excited for it. <3 I can't wait.
Here's to more positivity and gaining strength and health!

Monday, September 8, 2014

Final week of #21DayFix

My 21 Day Fix turned out VERY differently than I expected. I did not follow the meal plan to a T after the 2 weeks (I have done 3 weeks so far - an extra 7 days).
I have not binged - seriously - in this time frame. I have eaten crap food and had PROPER servings! I never thought I would be able to do that and I have!
I "binged" and it was 3 servings of cashews (over a 4 hour period) and 2 luna bars - way better for me and less food than going to Chick-Fil-A and getting 12 count nuggets and then spaghetti (at least 3 servings) when I got home.
This is so triumphant for me that it is surpassing the shame I feel from eating 12 counts and spaghetti. I am so grateful to start to change my eating habits. This is a huge accomplishment. After this week, I plan on continuing. I will keep doing the Fix portion control and slowly weed out the foods that don't work with me, like beans (kinda delicious but really tangle up my digestive process) and dairy (milk, ice cream - neither sit well with me. Cheese is usually okay because I don't usually eat large portions and I pull the cheese off of pizza too).

I have legitimately began a new lifestyle and I am beyond thrilled. I can't wait to keep going and changing and finishing this off. I am so much more comfortable in my body.

On the other side, I am really feeling emotions. Due to not binging (stuffing my feelings with food), I am really emotional. I got into a sad funk last week and it took a literal crying fest on Doug's shoulder to shake it. Good to know I have a solution but it was a frustrating week. I haven't noticed better happys, but then I never binged when happy - just when sad, ashamed, lonely, frustrated, stressed. I feel so much better - and so much worse sometimes, but getting the emotion out by crying or exercise is doing me so much good!

I am so damn proud of myself!