Nope. Not so sad.

Thought I would be, but checking in a few weeks later (well, posting about it), I'm not all that sad about the break-up. I'm actually feeling free and happy. Within 24 hours, I had realized the heft I had been carrying around was gone and just calm and freedom replaced it which are not burdens at all!
I think it is interesting that I am  not sad.
At therapy, I am relearning my wants and needs for a relationship. I learned very well to suppress those and to suppress feelings/frustrations/anger when people treat me poorly. Never again. I may not always put myself first, but I won't put myself second at my own detriment ever again.
I am so proud of myself for being strong and happy. I am happy again.

Influenster BlogStar!

I have been on Influenster for about a year and 7 months or so. I am a huge fan and have been from the get-go! Influenster is a great site and the #InfluensterApp is amazing! (I was voting for the app for such a long time - I am so excited it is finally here!!). Using #Influenster is easy. You join, write reviews of products, services, and companies and make friends! I love that I can connect to people on twitter or blogs through Influenster! It's awesome!
My favorite voxbox (Influenster's occasional reward for being a member) was the #InASnap #voxbox. I LOVE my Venus Razor and it is so perfect for traveling! I brought it on a bachelorette weekend recently and it was perfect. I still bring it on every trip I can (if I have to do carry-on bags, I can't obviously) and love it! The blade heads are even reasonable to replace (under 5$ a head at Target!)!



These are the links from my post about the In a Snap Voxbox:
Vine
In A Snap Pinterest board

Me opening the #InASnap Voxbox on Youtube

Influenster Venus Snap Review page

Gillette Venus facebook page

Gillette Venus Twitter

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I thought I would be more upset than I am. There honestly isn't too much different in my life even though I ended a long-term relationship (7 years). I was upset the first night and subsequent full day and driving home the second, but now it really is just whatever. We had slowly been seeing each other less and less and talking less and less, so the suddenness of the actual breakup isn't hugely different from what I was previously doing.
I am spending lots of time with brothers and that is awesome. I love my brothers and that I can be friends with them. It's good.
Right now, I don't care if I don't find someone else...I'd be cool with just being and doing me. Traveling and dancing and doing cool shit on my own.
Our society is not too supportive of singlehood though. I can't say how many people have said, "Oh, you'll be fine. You are amazing. I have no doubt you will find someone just as amazing as you are." But I don't need someone else to be complete and have a full life. I am good on my own with my brothers and awesome friends. I don't need a partner to be complete. It's cool if I find someone, but it's also cool if I don't.
Right now, I will focus my energy on meeting Childish Gambino (AKA Donald Glover) and then once he meets me, his focus will be on me. ;)

Broken hearted

Unfortunately, I had to end my seven years and change relationship.
I have for a long time put aside myself and my happiness. I can't do that anymore and disappointingly, my ex and I don't have compatible goals and values. I wish we did because there is a lot of love and respect between us, but that can't account for incompatibility. So I ended it and I am putting myself first. No more sacrificial lamb.
I will get better and healthier and improve. And like he said, he will regret not choosing me.

Hmmm

It's interesting. I have been with Doug for seven years now. We have had about 6-8 months of completely, not talking at all, broken up "for good" time but the rest, we were together. I never really questioned him. I felt a long time ago that he is my "one" and I'm lucky.
I'm lucky in the sense that my first love will be my last. I know that we have grown up together - and that is SUCH a beautiful thing! I have grown up a LOT in the past seven years and I have been through a lot. I am still growing and moving and shaking and it is nice that I have been able to grow alongside Doug.
I am reading this blog that I find fascinating: The Real Housewife of Ciudad Juarez. I totally have a crush on her life - Emily is living in Juarez with her husband. Not so much the green card situation which is totally beautiful the way she is handling it, but the living in Mexico, the learning Spanish, different culture. I miss all of that so much. I was sitting here thinking, I almost wish I had a noncitizen husband who I move to Mexico with. I don't so much wish I had a different man than mine - I DON'T - you can't have him. But I wish I could move to Mexico. I miss speaking another language (however poorly) and living in a different culture. Oh, how I miss it. I wish Doug would do it with me.

3-Day Refresh

Beachbody has a new(er) program called the 3-day Refresh. I have to be honest. I did not love it. I felt energetic, but I was HUNGRY. The allotted calories is somewhere around 900 (varies on what fruits/veg you choose). I loved the Fiber Sweep, meh on the Vanilla Fresh.
I didn't mind the restrictions on food. The dinner recipes were really good. I definitely will keep those in my repertoire. I am going to have a vegan day every week now, as well.
I think the #3dayrefresh is good to reset - I didn't want to eat (and haven't eaten) a ton of junk since...yes, it has only been a day but still, coming from a 10+ years long binger, that's pretty extraordinary.

Interesting

I found this article about happiness vs decision making style and it is fascinating. I am totally a satisficer and Doug is a maximizer. Drives me CRAZY but now I get it. I often feel like he is DRAGGING out everything when I just want to decide and move on to the next phase or choice or moment. That's not to say he makes bad decisions, just that he takes longer to make decisions (and usually we come to the same decision but I don't feel the need to test it out - he does). This is absolutely interesting to me.
Does anyone else find this dichotomy in their own relationship?